Filler 2: Permission to-

Settling into the new place, environment, and working routine,
This will probably take some time.

In a way, it's perhaps physically slightly less taxing;
But in terms of the weight of the responsibility, and mentally, it's more and heavier.

First active general medicine on call as a physician, okay not so bad...
First passive covid on-call, so far still okay.

If there's anything that resurfaces from my ever-so-existing weakness,
It's my own insecurities and sense of incompetency and feeling unsure about everything
This, I need to "fix" it myself, and I need to improve.
This, I know will take longer than expected.

But for someone who has trouble adapting to new places,
I probably purposely jeopardize my own sanity by choosing to be deployed for the pandemic mobilization, not knowing where I'd be placed when I signed up for it...
And now they assigned me to a whole new place, I'm wondering if I'm pushing myself beyond what I can chew and if I just like to get myself into troubles.... -.-;;
Perhaps I should have just sat quietly here to adapt and get used to the new environment D=

Let's see what will happen in the next 6 weeks...

Filler: Voice

Previously while waiting for gazettement placement, gazetting specialists were allowed to choose their floating placement. Not this year, the pandemic limited that options and I decided to go to Hosp Sg. Buloh, for a few reasons. Part of it is because I wanted to see how's the situation there and learn from the team managing the pandemic fully for the past 1 year and a half.

Although many people were surprised by the 'brave' decision I took, I never regretted it but feeling much grateful and thankful for the given opportunity.

I learned and gained a lot more than expected, I worked with hardworking and helpful teams and driven consultants, I was given the chance to meet and work with hardworking albeit tired MOs, most being contract MOs & medical registrars, reliable nurses and Sister and efficient MAs and PPKs. It was a short one month but I am honoured to be given this chance.

One of the backbones of the team apart from the nurses were the MOs. I feel the pain of their uncertain future amid the heavy workload on their shoulders. Their worries are always at the back of their minds, some have lost hope and motivation even. While I can support the campaign and movement for their fair treatment, I am not in their shoes. 

But one thing is for sure: How can one work with a peaceful mind not knowing if they will be terminated by the end of the year or once they are deemed no more critical for the service?  

To these junior colleagues of mine, I pray that solutions will be there for you guys.

This issue isn't the only one that plaques the HCW during this time when the number of cases keeps on increasing. The cry of the burnout colleagues resonates through and through and every day I pray those involved, these frontliners' journey will be eased and they are given strength to trudge through the coming days.

Everyone is looking forward to the day when we can finally breathe with ease and a smile.
Never stop praying, never stop hoping.
The journey is still ongoing;

And for me, tomorrow comes another new page, a new chapter, and a new phase in this book of life.