November 29, 2007


One by one they return home.
There's small spark of jealousy, she shamefully admits.
And at times like this, it's part of her favourite passtimes to look at old photos.

Or maybe she just misses flying again.

3 A.M.

3 A.M.

It was dark outside; pitch black and cold for a land that had nothing much except buildings and trees and not-so-big roads. Her eyes avidly looking for more information to be included into her assignment; yet something prompted her to check her email- just to rest her eyes for a moment.

There was an article -a story was more like it- sent into her inbox. Not wanting to spend too much time into the story, she just read it through. And then it clicked in her mind; the night before she spilled her worries and stresses and whether she had the strength left to go on to a colleague and now she's left with a question:

Was it really too much for her to handle?

It was like a peace for the mind- to know that someone in the past had endured more, physically and mentally and it was someone that she had been looking up to very highly and admirally. After all, hadn't it always been a reminder to her that "Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya..." [Al-Baqarah (2):286]?

She took a deep breath,
at 3 A.M in the morning.

November 24, 2007

Threading on a thin path

Slowly, her eyes opened; though there was some feeling of relief, instantly there was a flood of what she had yet to do. 2 days of weekends would not be enough, unless you have superhuman strength.

At times like this, she felt like she's being thrown in too fast, too quickly and too abruptly that everyone's expecting too much of her. One minute she'd been told to do this, and the next she's told a different thing, then another moment she'd been accused of being ignorant.

When she agreed and accepted the fact that it would be a rough, tortuous path, she didn't expect that it had the power to break her spirit. There were a lot of people around her, yet none she felt could hear her truly... Or perhaps it was just her, unable to voice it out.

She wondered how long she could hold on to a thin thread, before she would finally crumbled and break...

November 18, 2007

I Miss... (2)

The lake opposite on Mounts Bay Road. Mounts Bay Apartment (where I lived before) is just across this lake, on the other side of the pond if you can see the buildings. The right picture: Black swans- just as what Western Australia is known for.

Study area of mine and Alia's (before I moved the table and bookrack into my room) and our kitchen area- I miss...

I miss my Perth days… not because I was 'forced' to come home 2 years earlier than expected, but more of nostalgic memories I shared with my neighbours a.k.a. the girls of ex-Taylors Perth. I have to say those memories with them are ones of the craziests and most memorable I'd ever have.

In the first month of us living in Mounts Bay (after 2 years living in Currie Hall- one of UWA's residential collages)- Alia's putting together the stool that we bought in Ikea (in Osborne Park, in which Ansar kindly drove us there and helped us to put together the shoe rack too)

The stop for Blue CAT that would take us to Perth Esplanade Busport (and we changed bus to UWA) and into the city. CAT = Central Area Transit- free bus ride in the city area.

Fast Eddy's- where we'd love to linger and have hot choc!

I miss my old bedroom in Mounts Bay.
I miss the times where after tired looking at the computer, I could lie down on the couch browsing the tv channels for something good to watch.
I miss the time when I would walk with Alia or Zura or Diana to the city and it took us only 10 to 15 minutes to walk, compared to taking the Blue CAT.
I miss the time when I felt lonely studying alone at home, I'd go up and joined Zura and Diana upstairs.
I miss the time when Alia and I would laze around the living, watching Air Crash Investigations, Seconds from Disasters, Will and Grace or Megastructures.

Kings Park- beautiful at night, breath-taking in the day (haven't heard from a couple of them in the photo for quite a long time already...)

Tasha's house- where I'd run to when I had problems and needed to stay away from Mounts Bay. Tasha's mom would kindly took me in (and fed me well =P)- I miss them...

These bubbly lot- I miss (Shila's not in the photo)
Ex-Housemates of G20!

I also miss these people...

Farah (in Manchaster at the mo') and Allahyarham my Grandmama...

Shikeen and Ila, two ol' buddies whom I've known since I was 8 and 9
Shaza and Faizah, two good friends who are more like sisters now

Listening to: "Make a Prayer" by Sami Yusuf

O people
In a hut made of tin and clay
A small boy dreams away
Of clean water and a meal a day
And not to fear mines as he plays each day

O people
Somewhere dark and out of the way
Aids has found yet another prey
To save his life he just couldn't pay
Tell me what we're going to do
For our brothers in Durban
For our sisters in Darfur

Show me what we're going to do
Are we just going to sit there?
Nice and cosy on our armchairs
Will we not even make a prayer?

You, you might ask yourself
Why should I help these people?
They'll tell you why
We're not so different from you
We have dreams just like you
But they were buried with the
bodies of our loved ones

O people
Are we deaf, dumb, and blind?
What is going through our minds?
Don't we care for the rest of mankind?

O people
We claim to love peace and justice
Why do we preach what we don't practice?
Let's help them out of this darkness

Tell me what we're going to do
For our brothers in Ethiopia
For our sisters in Rwanda
Show me what we're going to do
Are we just going to sit there?
Nice and cosy on our armchairs
Will we not even make a prayer?

November 17, 2007

Something The Lord Made

ESP (English for Special Purpose) is part of the subjects that I have to take; it's run closely with PPD (Personal and Professional Development)- one Thursday it's ESP, the next Thursday would be PPD.

Last Thursday, we watched an HBO film, 'Something The Lord Made' and I have to say it's worth the whole Thursday afternoon in the audi to watch it. It was based on a true story:

"...moving story of men who defy the rules and start a medical revolution. Their patients are known as the "blue babies" - infants suffering from a congenital heart defect that turns them blue as they slowly suffocate (Tetralogy of Fallot- if you're a med student).

Alfred Blalock (Alan Rickman) and Vivien Thomas (Mos Def) make a brilliant team. But even as they race against time to save one particular baby, the two occupy different places in society. Blalock is the white, wealthy head of surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Thomas is black and poor, a skilled carpenter whose dream of going to college and becoming a doctor was ruined by the Great Depression, although he was naturally gifted with the intuition and dexterity of a great surgeon"
(More info:

We learnt about interpersonal conflict weeks before and there were obvious examples in the movie; not just on that matter but also of ambitions, dreams, hardwork, discrimination and intrapersonal conflicts. People might say how you handle it is entirely up to the individual but then again interpersonal conflict always involves at least two parties and when another party apart from ourselves is involved, it means unless there's effective communication, both parties would feel dissatisfaction, anger and perhaps resentment towards each other.

Similarly I now find myself in perhaps a situation that could resemble somewhat of interpersonal conflicts and perhaps it's involving more than two parties. Sometimes even when we're aware of our surroundings, the different perceptions people are having on us and our own desires to do things our way, we might forget that people have feelings and that perhaps unless we say it out loud, there would be slight discomfort and dissatisfaction simmering around.

I've never been in this kind of situation before and frankly I'm kind of at lost of what to do.

Back in 2000 when we moved to Kerteh, I thought I learnt about life back then. But now 7 years after, life has never fail to throw me aback and ponder have I done the right thing. It was a principle back then that 'life is a great teacher, learn from it' and I think I'm still holding to the same principle...

November 13, 2007

Tiring Saturday

Had an open house in Dengkil (by Persatuan Perumahan Dengkil a.k.a PPD) on Friday night in which afterwards some of us went to Putrajaya for late supper.

The next morning we gathered at college to convoy (there were around 15 cars) to UiTM Shah Alam for friendly visit and games (soccer for guys and futsal for girls) with their med-faculty students. I didn't play (my sis did), though I would love to; circumstances weeks before during training didn't permit me to do so unfortunately- so I resumed my self-appointed role, the CameraLady on that day. It lasted till after 2: UiTM scored 4-3 for soccer and futsal's score was 1-1.

Waiting for everyone to arrive
The supporters (who were being really supportive crowd)
CUCMS 2nd Batch Soccer Team (with 2 imported players- the 3rd batch =P)
The Futsal Team (2nd Batch with 2 imported players too)... Oh, plus a self-appointed-so-called-'coach'

There were some slight minor issues, as per usual when something's organized but let bygone be bygone and learn from mistakes no matter how small it was. Overall, it was fun and exciting, especially when the boys made batch jerseys especially for this occassion (and the girls joined in the hassle and excitement to make ours as well).

These were the students of pre-clinical years and they were being friendly hosts and they showed us around the faculty. Granted, it was bigger than ours but they also have more students at the same time. At the end, I changed numbers with a couple of them.

With Audi (2nd Year UiTM) - yeah, I got my own jersey too XD

We headed to Salwa's place afterwards since she invited us for Raya Open House at her house. In the midst of tiredness, we headed to Nadya's place then- everyone was fully filled with good food after good games it seemed.

At Salwa's Open House

At Nadya's Open House (middle photo is one with the host)

There were 3 open houses- and Haz's was the furthest (from Cyberjaya, meaning the closest to my place) so in the end only me, my sister, K.I and Aamir went there. Amirul was already there since 4 (we reached her place at around a little after 8) and soon Nad, Sakina, Liyana and Ima came. Nisa came too afterwards, with her family. The food was really good, despite the absence of the usual crowd. I dotted on the pudding XD The moment my sister and I got home, we slept like logs... And it was only half past 9...

At Haz's place

November 7, 2007

8 Days of Raya (Part 2)

Day 5:
Ummie and her family was moving. Initially Dad didn't let me help- the reason being I had to study and read Pengajian Malaysia but I insisted to help. Ended up coming home at 4 and we went to Pak Long's place in Bangi that night.

Day 6:
Bor-ing... so we just left it like that, ok? (Ummie and I were supposed to go and buy purple songket but since she was still buzy and I was still tired and had to study -or tried to-)

Day 7: Friday (Day One of Jalan Raya Marathon)

Ummie and I finally went to Jalan TAR- bought 7 purple songket (one for Farah who would still be in Manchester during the wedding but for cousin's sake, we still bought it for her)

Then I got home to help the last minute preparation for the Open House. Eda and Salwa were the first one to arrive, followed by Aamir, Man and then the rest just came pouring in- okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit but there were Hannan, Anuar, K.I, Zahir, Amal, Alin, Fizy, Shakir, Nabil, Haz, Zeti (who came in last and was traumatized by trying to come here =P). Nadia Hani came in that afternoon as well (I suddenly missed my SMTM friends…) and so did Liza (Kerteh).

Since my Perth friends would come after work, and the kids (referring to the CUCMS collegues) wanted to go to Shakir's place (which was about 15 minutes away by driving), I went with them (and suddenly my friends appeared while I was still there). Alia couldn't come though.

Ely, Haizani and Azhani came that night; almost at the same time as Fauzan's family. Oh, Aunt Asmah was there as well, till Mom and Dad had to go send Zhafri to the bus station.

Day 8: (Day 2 to Jalan Raya Marathon)

Shaza couldn't come yesterday, so she came in the morning for breakfast- one of the best breakfast session I've ever had this year *big grin*

And then we were supposed to gather at Terminal Putra in Gombak at 1 but ended up moving from there around half past 2.

Waiting for everyone to arrive: K.I and Moja

1st Stop: Nabil's- Me, Alin, Zeti, Sakinah, Liyana, Haz and Ira

3rd Stop: Alin's (Initially she didn't want us to come (because she'd do a proper one on one of the coming weekends) but the boys persuaded so in the end she had to give in)

At Amal- 2nd last stop (where everyone had a photo-taking frenzy suddenly). These are two of the many group photos we have. We ate outside and then moved inside.
(The right picture) From the back: Aamir, Mosh, Moja, Zahir, Nabil, Anuar, Faiz
Girls sitting on the couch: Ira, Di, Liyana, Zeti, Haz, Hannan
Sitting on the floor: Me, Amal and Fizy in front of us

Last Stop: Fizy's- where 'cats drama' occured (and was caught on video). As to who was involved, sorry that it had to be classified information. We ended up going home at around 11 at night.

More pictures will be uploaded in my flickr account and I'll put the link in here.