The Aftermath: Blood, Sweat and Tears

May 3-5th, 2021: Part 3 MMed Exam, Viva- Thesis Defence
4th May marked the day where a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Closing yet another chapter which was literally was blood, sweat, and tears.

Like literally.

MMed Batch June 2017- May 2021 (Incomplete quorum)

I started off this journey with a lot of hesitation. The experience as a house officer vs medical officer in general medicine was different; the more I walk this path, the more I don't know, the more difficult I felt, the more intimidated and unsure I became. But Allah has different plans for me- He diverted me back into medical and then into Masters of Internal Medicine where I knew it would be one of the toughest journeys yet. And MMed was literally blood, sweat, and tears no matter how much mentally prepared you thought you were. It would either make you or break you.

And it had almost broken me multiple times, especially during the last leg.

Nevertheless, what did make the difference are the people you met during this journey.

Part of the study group members

Allah eased my journey by letting me befriended friends who watch out for each other, lending shoulders to cry on, ears to listen to, and being keen reminders to each other. Allah allowed us to meet remarkable, impeccable, and impactful teachers, mentors, seniors, and colleagues- people whom we look up to, admired upon and they taught us many, many things from different aspects.  

Not only that, Allah gave me more than what I asked for:

- supportive family and friends outside the MMed circle and to be honest they are one of my strongest pillars of support and buffers

- challenging cases and incidents but full of lessons and wisdom and although they almost make me fall to pieces each time, I was supplicated by many hidden mechanisms to pull me through them  

- new opportunities and welcome distractions 

Ending one chapter means the beginning of another.
Successfully climbing one hurdle means facing a bigger one.

I honestly don’t know how the next chapter will be and what challenges it will bring.
To be honest, I'm more nervous than excited, especially to leave this comfort zone.
But if anything past 5 years has taught me, there’s always, ALWAYS reasons and meanings behind each event.

I just hope that in the future I will be able to look back into this post and this episode to remind myself of this.

Bismillah...

"We made it guys!" Sincerely, Tsum Tsum Girls

Pin: Ramadhan Kareem 2021 & (throwback) 2nd Dose

Another year welcoming Ramadhan

Let this graceful month enlighten all our darkness, wash away our sorrows and ease our pain.
May the blessing of Ramadhan be on all of us and may our prayers and deeds get accepted.

Ramadhan kareem, everyone!

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The April series photos part 1: the incomplete quorum

April 11th, lunch with them, an incomplete quorum of the Zenols

April 10th, brunch with them, an incomplete quorum of Funtastic 4 + the aunts

April 9th, dinner, and coffee with them, an incomplete quorum of MDTs

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Throwback to 2nd dose of covid-19 vaccine, Thursday 1st April
- it was the day before the submission of our thesis/dissertation manuscript, so we decided to go slightly later in the afternoon.

The jab itself wasn't painful, but I experienced slightly worse minor side effects (compared to the first dose) afterward- feeling feverish, headache, arthralgia, and myalgia akin to viral-like symptoms that warranted regular paracetamol... they lasted for about 48 hours and after that, you'll be okay.

The SNs were so gentle that you felt nothing and it was over in an instant

Completed 2nd dose. Let's all do out part, protect yourself, protect others :)

#HappyVDay

 Dec 30,

#HappyVDay
#HappyBirthdayTaehyung
#HappyTaehyungDay

Just wanted to jot that down here XD

One Step at A Time- #2 GetFriends

//Thursday's Les Mills Tone with serra_lin@IG; a killer session every time, but worth it!

Get acquainted. Get friends. Don't do this alone. I mean, get serious friend(s) who either get into the journey with you or someone to monitor your journey.

Reasons- you need someone to keep a tab on your progress & to keep on motivating you. And trust me, you will get tired and demotivated at times.

//Easy walk at KL Tower Eco Park

//Hiking @ Tabur East

//Picnic & walk at Frim, Kepong

//Coway Run this year

If you have the means (time and financial) invest in a gym membership. Gym places usually have classes- Les Mills (under FF), HIIT-like classes, zumba, yoga etc. You can go to these classes for a starter until you find what you like, your niche- we'll talk more about this in later entries.

Invest in a personal trainer (PT) if it's within your reach/budget- because they can tailor the workout for you and they can correct your forms to avoid injuries. And because at times when you feel like you cannot go on anymore, they will push you past your limit, and you will be thankful for that.
Ask around and talk to the trainers on what they can offer.

//Burn class under Fitness First

//The fun bunch @ FF!

//Another fun bunch (quorum x complete) at the gym

My working hour isn't as flexible and I sometimes ended up finishing late- I can't keep up with some of the classes hence getting a PT was my best option. And hey, like someone said, results don't lie. [Honorary mention : khairulmuzzamir@IG]

Alternative is you can always join programme like Jom Kurus 1Malaysia or Fat Loss Challange programme by Anytime Fitness. Point is, don't walk this journey alone.

We'll talk more about workouts, exercise, and trainers in later posts.

Share with me your experience.

Panda Run! I mean, Panda Rolls

 So yesterday I had my first fun run; after days being "badgered" by a colleague to do so (and she succeeded in pulling not only me, but another friend as well) I repeatedly said to them I can't run (which was true) and we would only walk. And since we're all on the same page, that was really the agreement.

Until I kinda.... walked slightly faster than them (>.<)
To be honest, I kinda surprised myself- at the little stamina that I had to sustain short run and fast-pace walk, and at how much I enjoyed it. Maybe those hours at the gym helped. Maybe my sister's advice on "try to go as fast as you can without compromising your breathing pattern". Maybe putting on upbeat songs while walking/jogging/running helped.

//Us, before starting

//And we finished!

//See how cute the finisher medal is!

So after run, we makan la kan? XD

Anyway, now entering 2nd year, we have a bit more time over the weekends if not doing on-calls. Supposedly that time is filled with studying, yeah I know... but one thing lead to another, we have yet to restart the engine of the study group. Past 2 semesters, we used the time after work to sit down and discuss questions, but now even after office hours we're still seeing referrals so there need for a dedicated time over the weekends for group discussion.

But 3rd sem is approaching the end fast and we're still yet to start the engine... Being into rotations with minimal people is also not helping. Ilham and I were having hard time adjusting to it; it's slightly better now but we're still agitated receiving referrals.

And I've added an extra activity into my already busy schedule- trying to keep up with 150 mins per week of physical activities. I guess there was a reason why I got into Endocrine as my first rotation this sem- giving advises like "cut down your sugar" and "you have to exercise at least 150 minutes per week, activities that make your heart rate goes up and you to sweat" are only believable when you're doing it yourself. At least now I can look into my patients' eyes and say these mantra without feeling guilt.

Working out for me also means venting out all those frustration and pent-up anger etc. You kinda literally feels lighter and satisfied after a good session, thanks to the endorpins and dopamine released. I think I have a better sleep and better energy at work too.

And those days I go to the gym, those are my happy-pill days because I got to spend time with my cousins! 

//Ok, this was when we went out for dinner, but these 2 girls are part of my support system for a long time :)

Now that I steadily scheduled exercise into my routine, the question is, how to fit in studying into the equation? Questioning myself this means that I'm entering a panic mode. Exam is only 3 semester down the road. (>,<)

Sky Blue

...Congratulations

幸せになってくれなきゃ困るぜ (Baby)

素晴らしい未来へ　愛を叫べ

...Congratulations

You've just gotta become happy, (Baby)

Shout this love to a wonderful future

愛を叫べ (Ai wo Sakebe), Arashi

(because One Love for wedding theme is overrated IMO... haha!)

I scrolled my journal and to my horror, there were only TWO entries for this year? O.o 

The lack of posts means either I'm under much stress that I couldn't even be bothered to write anything (because essentially writing is how I vent out previously), or I found better ways to de-stress. 

Or, I do no more traveling for whatever reasons. =( My last trip was to Korea last May and I foresee that there will probably be no more traveling next... 1 year. Or more. 

Anyway, it may be the combinations of all three factors mentioned above.

However, since today is a special day, I'll jot something here to bookmark the day.

//Arashians' gathering on Ija's wedding
.Picture courtesy of Annys and Zura.

Sometimes weddings are the only time and place to catch up with your friends, especially now when everyone's working different jobs and places and have different priorities etc. I haven't met these girls in ages!

//Zeti also matched our blue-coloured unoffical theme XD

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to Ija and husband. May your life filled with barakah and happy memories, insyaAllah.

It's a bit difficult to explain how Ija and I knew each other, but it's also the (only) same answer I have if people asked how I knew the girls in the first picture- Arashi. And like the F4's, it started from Arashi Forum (which is no longer exist I must say)- so that dated back in.... 2009 - 2010... ? (because korek2 LJ, earliest mention of Ija was her birthday shoutout back in 2010).
Anyway, from fandom to lepak-ing buddies to coffee-mate after work and occassional trips / sleepovers domestically and overseas (Japan and Singapore je pon), I think Ija is one of the few who actually had witnessed my bimbo-moments, especially during driving -.-;
I guess now she doesn't have to see that anymore XD

After I've transferred to KL and started working in Putrajaya, I commuted by train and later we found the easiest way to catch up was at dinner and coffee after work, since she's also traveling via train. And since then, our regular catch-up / shopping / coffee session has became one of my ways of de-stressing (aka ranting) and keeping my sanity in check.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for spending your time listening to my work-rant and about life in general, Ija =) The frequency to catch up probably won't be as many as before but I do hope that this friendship will last.

//F4 (missing Aimee) and Ijaji

//We need to fix a date for another of F4 meet up!

It was a good chance to catch up with Ai and Jules too; a tad short for Ai but Jules and I had coffee before going home and talked some more; yeah, that's the separation anxiety peeking up XP

//Also, thanks for the surprise! Ape la pulak pengantin bagi surprise present ni? XD

Footprint

It's only April and I had taken 4 MCs within 2 weeks O.o I was down some URTI and fever 3 weeks ago then it escalated into bad sore throat that rendered me voiceless, like literally no voice at all that I had to take MCs! I even consulted the ENT team and they did a quick scope and I've never felt more relieved knowing my vocal cord is normal! Yup, not only singers and teachers need their voices to work okay, I had to take MC because I just can't communicate with the patients and had to be on voice-rest :(

My voice is coming back slowly , it's not as raspy as previously but it's still not normal yet. The cough still persists though... and I suspect it will last for another month or so, just as previously. 

I finally watched Shigatsu Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April) live action and I LOVE it! Came across the soundtrack and insert songs and stumbled upon Seven's Orange (2nd Ending song for the anime version) and I absolutely love love LOVE them all! I have a feeling that I'd be playing the songs on loop for the next few days :)

Apart from that, we had a reunion- my classmates when I was in Standard 6 in Primary School! That's like.... 21 years ago okay! Someone actually went through all the troubles to initiate the group and surprisingly we've gotten everyone except for this one guy (and to be honest, I have no recollection of him ^^; ). So we decided a meet-up is a must and Saturday night was supposed to be the first official reunion but more than half of the class couldn't make it, so next time we'll plan it during school holiday, I guess since quite a number are actually teachers and some are living outside Klang Valley area.

On the other note... this cousin of mine will be leaving for Hong Kong at the end of this month :(  She'll be outstation for the next 6 to 8 months and I'd loose one ear to listen to all my whining , cries and stories...

It will be tough years coming ahead, if I'm accepted into the Masters programme... and that means more time and energy time spent for work and studying, more stress coming, less break and holidays (there goes my periodical must-have-holiday T_T), less time to join missions and to be honest I need all the support I could get in next 4 years... This is even more nerve-wrecking than when I first started working okay

To be honest... I'm scared. I don't know if I'm mentally and physically prepared. Past months had been tough enough and I was overworked to a point of getting sick... I also think that part of it is I've gotten too complacent at my current place, so I'm so scared now to a point of wishing that I'd not make the list...

This will probably be among the places where I rant...

I'm oncall tomorrow.... and the precall blues have started *sighs*

Alin's Fairy Tale

So last weekends was packed with events for Alin's wedding. Amal & I were searching for matching outfit, mind you for 9 people with different sizes, and it was not so much of an easy task as it sounded, but nonetheless we found them at the end! Yay! A number of impromptu stuff too, but it worked out well in the end.

Congrats to Alin & Fahmi!

The solemnization ceremony took place at Masjid Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin, Putrajaya, or better known as Masjid Besi. We were the 'dulang' girls that day.

Us with the bride, her mom and Zarra, fellow ex-CUCMS

Macam kumpulan nasyid pulak...

The reception took place the next day, on Sunday in PJ. We arrived early since we got some new instruction to escort the couple into the hall.

Pelamin

Amal explaining and demonstrating the event flow

Chilling with ice-cream while waiting for the bride and groom

Selfie with my sister

The flower Girls

Yeah, being in that 'seiza' position for quite some time was.... errr.... one heck of an experience

Look who came!

More Frontiers!

Cake cutting~

Syafiq, Nani & Radly and Liyana & Amirul already went back by this time

And Nisah was the last to arrive, so we HAD to take picture!