Alin's Fairy Tale

So last weekends was packed with events for Alin's wedding. Amal & I were searching for matching outfit, mind you for 9 people with different sizes, and it was not so much of an easy task as it sounded, but nonetheless we found them at the end! Yay! A number of impromptu stuff too, but it worked out well in the end.

Congrats to Alin & Fahmi!

The solemnization ceremony took place at Masjid Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin, Putrajaya, or better known as Masjid Besi. We were the 'dulang' girls that day.

Us with the bride, her mom and Zarra, fellow ex-CUCMS

Macam kumpulan nasyid pulak...

The reception took place the next day, on Sunday in PJ. We arrived early since we got some new instruction to escort the couple into the hall.

Pelamin

Amal explaining and demonstrating the event flow

Chilling with ice-cream while waiting for the bride and groom

Selfie with my sister

The flower Girls

Yeah, being in that 'seiza' position for quite some time was.... errr.... one heck of an experience

Look who came!

More Frontiers!

Cake cutting~

Syafiq, Nani & Radly and Liyana & Amirul already went back by this time

And Nisah was the last to arrive, so we HAD to take picture!

Sunday Post

Haven't been writing entries for such a long time! My fingers itch to type something here... Originally I thought of posting entries about our adventure in Japan- my friends and I went there in April. However, the bulk of photos we took using my sister's camera were in a file that somehow got corrupted in my external drive. The whole file is worth of 10.5G of pictures and my sister is the only one with another copy and guess where is she right now? Yup, back in Sabah... and since she'll only be back at end of May, we have to wait until then before I post the entries, okay?

Although, to be honest, the entries are more for my future reference..... Hahaha... ^.^;

That aside, I'd like to congratulate a good friend of mine, for her engagement! I wouldn't exactly say, "Finally!". That's saved for a more special occasion =P But the (her) family gathering during the day was more like Raya celebration!

Many special thanks to my sister-in-law, Ras (IG) for helping us out with outrageously last minute request for the hand-bouquet! And she managed to use specifically requested flowers too, despite the long weekends (and the possibility that the flower shops were closed >.< )
Pssssttt! She takes orders too, so you can visit her instagram :-)

//Beautiful, ain't it? =D

And next! the Solemnization and Reception of this girl in pink below ;-) Looking forward for the event in early June \(^o^)/

And while we are at that (posting up pictures, because I deactivated my fb acc), Happy Belated Birthday, J! (my F4 sister from different parents!) Hope you like the surprise present =D
Let's plan for Japan trip together!

//Jules played along with my request of lepak-ing at 2 different places for coffee (though, we didn't have coffee at the later place) on my post-call day =P

**Sneak peak of upcoming entries:

~7 in Japan~
April 8th - 18th, 2015

Starring:

Ija (The mastermind)

Nik (Ija's colleague, The mastermind)

Wani (The tag-along)
Izzat (Ija's friend)

Zira (Wani's sis)

Zeze (Wani & Zira's friend)

Sham (Wani & Zira's friend)

Why 7 in Japan?
Because all 7 of us are from different backgrounds- haphazardly connected by work, Arashi, medicine, college & the need for a break.

Places of interest:

Tokyo
DisneySea
Hakone
Osaka
Universal Studio Japan
Takayama
Kyoto
Arashiyama
Nara

Warning:

There will be tonnes and tonnes of photo in the entries, some information of visited places, informal way of writing, flailing-for-some-reason, and probably things that don't make sense. You've been warned. 

#Hijabscope

Stethoscope-friendly instant shawl from Hijabscope
Really like the material and how quick it was to auscultate patient during round :)

And yes, I'm promoting it XP
Check them out at: https://www.facebook.com/Hijabscope or https://instagram.com/hijabscope/

#prayforeastcoast (It Was a Humbling Experience)

I am perhaps not the best person to tell the tale of our short journey to Kuala Krai. But I hope it will paint a little picture of what we've seen with our own eyes of what the people there had to go through and are still going through even until today.

It started of with an intention (niat) to lend a little hand to those in Kelantan. Past years, we travelled as medical students, now we pray we can contribute a little more.
December 28th, 2014: Initially I intended to join IMARET on a later dates, as I still had a couple of oncall earlier in the month (January), and a CME presentation. But Allah has made an easy path for me to join the HPJ Flood Aid Team 1 in Kuala Krai (even though we were initially put under Team 2).

On Monday the 29th, at noon Shahril and I got a phone call from CPRC, instructing us to get ready to board a helicopter straight to Kuala Krai.

At 5.20 pm, we reached Kuala Krai, the heli dropped us off at an area near the Pejabat Tanah and we were picked up by an ambulance to the hospital. With us was an Anaest from KB, joining the hospital aid. That evening, were reported to the Hospital and subsequently to Team 1 commandant, Dr Norliza, ED Physician. We joined the campsite that Team 1 had set up in the cafeteria area; since the electricity was still gone, during night we were accompanied by the light from the generator.

Team 1 which consist of MOs, Staff Nurses, Male nurses, Medical Assistants and drivers, had been further divided into 3 sub-teams; each would rotate for different tasks each day. That night was the start of my official job in HKK. Shahril and I were then placed under the HPJ team- we covered both Outpatient Department (OPD, a la Green Zone in ED) and mobile team during the day and we mended the Green Zone at night until 12 a.m. Team 1 also brought along with them portable gas stove, generator, tents, food/water, medical equipments and medicines.

December 29th 2014; we lived with water from the rain, electricity from the generator and one wondered how tomorrow was going to be.

Initially we sent out 1 mobile team and the rest of two teams to mend the OPD. We reported to Pejabat Tanah the next day; since there are also mobile teams under Health side/PKD and NGOs, we were given a list of areas to cover in the hope that all teams are fully optimized to cover all possible areas affected. We were informed, that day was the first day that many roads were finally accessible. Our coverage areas were until Laloh (read: Lak-loh) and pit stops were mainly the Flood Relief Centres at different villages. We couldn't go to Kg. Pemberian on that day, was informed by the villagers that even by boat, the current was still too strong and we had no life jackets. We managed to go as far as Lata Rek, but had to go back to HKK to bring a patient back to ED due to right heart failure symptoms.

The next day I was in OPD, while the other team continued the mobile clinic and few members including Boss went to KK Mengkebang (read: Me-ke-be). With new information and new arrangement, we were able to send out 2 mobile teams out from that day onwards. Subsequently the mobile team was also able to cover Kg. Pemberian, their journey included walking in the mud and riding the boat to reach the affected area. I will let the pictures tell instead...

Only Celcom line (and occassionally Digi) worked during first week we were there. So when RTM came with satelite to cover the news of PM's visit in HKK, I called Dad to update of our status there. The next day, our Datuk Pengarah HPJ arrived bringing in more food and water supply. We still need to ration our water used since there was limited clean water supply. By 1st January, electricity has been restored in the main building.

On Day 5, while were were out on mobile clinic in Slow Mengkuang, we had to turn back to KK Manik Urai to ask them to send a 4 month old baby with tachypnoea and ronchi as we were planning to continue with our task. Thankfully we found the Army Field Hospital instead and I was overwhelmed at the scale of aid that was provided in the field. Before, during medical school, we learned and had disaster stimulation with field hospital, today, I was seeing one in front of my eyes; it was just amazing, the services they provided!

Throughout the mobile clinic journey, on our left and right we saw more and more teams, NGOs and individuals bringing aid- food, water, clothes, blankets, you named it. This might be my first on-the-field mission but scale of aid that come was just overwhelming, the sincerity was palpable...

Most of the cases we've seen during mobile clinic included URTI, cough and cold, skin and fungal infections, musculoskeletal pain and those whose medicines ran out or was gone in the flood. In OPD, there were more serious cases of cellulitis, infected would, alleged nail prick and those who ran out of medicine as well. One night, one whole family came after almost a week of different complaints due to the fact that they were unable to seek out medical treatments.
Having left ED posting a year ago, I am most thankful to Aswad and Faisal for patiently entertaining my questions in cases that I was unsure of. I am most thankful to those MAs and nurses from HKL who came to cover Green Zone at night for their efficiency in helping us seeing patients smoothly. They were not just another staffs, they were our companions, exchanging experiences and stories during the time when there were no patients around (which was scarce, I tell you). HKK staff were also most helpful in aiding us referring cases and in various procedures. I saw the same MOs working day and night and continued on the next day as though there was nothing going on. I am most amazed by their work ethic, despite the fact that fatigue started showing on their faces. We also started to see some of our staffs having cough and cold and yet keep on putting cheerful expression and good motivation to go on.

So imagine, if we who have just arrived for a few days started to feel the effect of the disaster, what more of those who have been there for days longer than us, and those who are still out there mending their homes.
Despite that, while were were on mobile clinic, the villagers still invited us for some food and offered us ride to waterfall in Lata Berangin.

January 4th 2015: We were given clearance to go back after 9 days (7 for me and Shahril). There were a few SOPs that was needed prior to head back. As we said goodbye to the remaining staff, I kept on thinking, the little hands that we lend, perhaps didn't bring much impact... But we pray that at least we shared a little of their burden. Some of us might be glad that we were going home soon, we missed our family (and perhaps our comfort zone), but to be honest, I felt sad leaving the people of Kuala Krai; there are still more to be done, physically and emotionally...

Now is the time where as much help is needed for them to rebuild their home and their lives. Some of them left with only 'sehelai sepinggang', houses, everything all gone. With the upcoming school session starting, there are still so much to be done. Recovery phase will take months or perhaps years. Aid will still be needed from every aspect.

What I've seen was only a glimpse of the whole picture. The chance that I had, I know many would want to join in the field as well. It doesn't matter which team you join- be it under KKM, Army, political clubs, NGOs or indiviuals; it doesn't matter how small your contributions are- be it medical aid, transportation aid, food/necessity aid, water supply/cleaning aid, money etc. it still matters.
It's okay if we were not physically present in Kelantan, or Terengganu, or Pahang.
It's okay if you are financially constraint and you can only send in little amount, it still matters.

And if you feel that you want to help and yet you have no means to do so, there is still one thing you can do:

PRAY 

Pray for the people affected to have strength, pray for those who are giving aid to be strong, both physically and mentally... pray for their safety at all time.

Before our bus departed, Matron came and thanked me. As we hugged, she shed tears, asking for us to pray to give them strength...
We who came for a short while was going home, but them, that was their home, their land...

//Safely arrived home & short debriefing session//

I probably don’t have that kind of strength. At this point, every time I think about it, I feel helpless. And every time, I need to remind myself that He knows best and there will surely be hikmah behind all this. Every time, I had to remind myself of this ayah, Al-Baqarah (2: 286): God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear: in his favour shall be whatever good he does, and against him whatever evil he does.

So let us not speculate on why the flood happen, or whose fault it was... when He said, Kun Fayakun, even the 'biggest' power/authority on Earth couldn't stop it. What we can do now is help the affected people to rebuild their home and prepare for the future should it happen again. This is where unity should happen instead of the blame-game, Allahulam...

This short journey, I can only sum it all up in one sentence:

IT WAS A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE.

-HPJ Flood Aid Team 1

Photo collage done with Fotor and Picture Collage

To come: The Short Journey in Kuala Krai

Entry on our short period in Kuala Krai

- HPJ Flood Aid Team 1

Saturday Muse: Thankful

Our clinic session finished up very late a few days ago. By PM, I was half-anticipating the patients on my cue who had to wait 4-6 hours before their turn to barge in and complain when it was their turn. Instead, they asked me "Doktor dah makan?", while glancing at the clock I saw it was already 3 PM and answered no, I was very much thankful and relieved that they didn't make too much of a fuss about the waiting time. 

In fact, I felt rather grateful for them showing their concern, and felt more compel to sort out their issues quickly.

We do apologize for the long wait but it was not something that we chose to do on purpose. 

Really, thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts, for being understanding

Two Thirty In The Morning

Me and Sis accompanied Mom for a live show on August 30th, 2014. It has sort of been my wish since, perhaps 2 years back. (I also need an excuse for a really needed break)

Towards the end of the show, it started to rain and before we knew it, we were soaked. I swear that was my first (and perhaps last?) time I watched something in the middle of the rain. When was the last time we had fun in the rain?
(Not to mention, it was a long-lost secret wish to be able to get soaked in the rain like that, with a smile and feeling somewhat free and enjoying myself)

But the best thing was, we think Mom enjoyed herself immensely.

I have no idea if this little message will come across to whom it's mean to be. But in any case, thank you so much for such great performance, and thank you for making Mom happy like that :)

You know who you are.

@bornfreeonekiss
@1215thexiahtic

Madrasah Ramadhan #PrayForGaza

I am Hazwani, I live in Malaysia and I definitely, absolutely without any question #SupportGaza & #PrayforGaza

29th Ramadhan 1435 / Madrasah Ramadhan 

Normally, I dedicate this entry for us to look back and reflect on how much have we achieved so far- Did we fulfil all our goals set at the beginning of the fasting month? Or we were busy with our lives to dedicate extra time and money for ibadah?

But this year, this Ramadhan has witnessed the peak of ongoing slaughter and attack by Zionist on our brothers in Palestine; it’s as though it’s an INSULT to the holy month itself, it’s as though they are saying ‘we don’t give a damn of your Holy Month’, with more and more killings and slaughter on the children, women and civilian. 

BUT, because it has happened in the month Ramadhan, it has REOPENED, REAWAKENED, REMINDING us and the world again what long been going on in Gaza, REVEALING for the world to see all the secrets and excuses and lies that were kept and not-so-kept hidden before.

Because it is Ramadhan, more people, both Muslims and non-Muslims are much more aware of the apartheid and genocide going on in Palestine. Because it is Ramadhan, more and more truth is revealed to the world.

Because it is Ramadhan, regardless of religions and races, we try to contribute, even if in the least possible way- reminding and educating each other, or boycotting Israel-products, or donating funds for them; and we keep on praying for them.

Only those who choose to be blind will keep on being blind.

Ramadhan may have come to an end; but our prayers and small efforts shouldn’t.

Tomorrow when we wake up and celebrate Eid, please remember that our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, our grandparents and our children in Palestine are still being killed and being bombed mercilessly.

Keep on sending our dua’s for them. Keep showing our support for them.

Kerana Janji Allah itu pasti!




Last but not least, Eid Mubarak, everyone!

Expectations [2]

Continuation from previous post: Tagging and Expectations [1]

• Weekends, day-off and time to eat and sleep: Housemen do NOT have weekends. Full-Stop. We’re doing shift system so our day-off might fall on weekdays or weekends. Different hospital and department have different shift depending on the number of houseman and patients. So do NOT expect to have weekends. Unable to eat lunch at lunch time is NORMAL. Worse come to worst, sometimes we have to jamak our solat because of short of time.
  
  My first 2 weeks of tagging in O&G as first posting, my lunch and dinner was at 10.30 or 11 p.m. and I had to qada’ Maghrib and sometimes Zuhur and Asar during Isyak; that on top of my families were 300+ kms away from where I chose to work and I got home with sore foot because of standing too much. I lost 10 kgs and had only on average 4 hours of sleep during my medical posting.
  
  Over the time, you will learn when to eat, how to get enough rest and at the same time enjoying your work. Learn surviving skills. Do not compare your job with ‘office-hour’ jobs.
  
  A great teacher once reminded our batch this: Toughen up during housemanship; even when you're tired or completely knocked down, just don't complaint. Do your best, make sure to give it all you've got in these 2 years. Don't be calculative (exact words were 'jangan berkira sangat') with your colleagues, cover for them, have good teamwork!
  I live by this mantra during my first few months as a house officer.
• We don’t expect you to be a genius who can come up with correct diagnosis on the spot BUT we need you to be functional, reliable and safe houseman. Learn what are stable cases and what are red-alert cases, what are important signs and symptoms or urgent/red cases that MO and specialist need to see urgently- you are the first liners, you see the patients first when they come to ward or in PAC so you need to be the eyes that filter things. Learn to prioritise your work- what needs to be done first, i.e. if you need to refer a case to respective department urgently, or you need to go and request for ultrasound or CT-brain, or if you need to quickly attend a patient who collapsed first. 

• Have common sense. This is related to point above.
• Learn surviving skills: Do a little homework about the department that you are about to enter- knows the requirement of that posting, get to know how the MOs and specialists are and how to ‘tackle’ them, learn which staff who will be able to help you out, fill in your logbooks early and with consistency, learn how and when to fill in your SKT and CPD and declare tax and so forth.
    
• Knows your limitation and yourself: If you don’t know, ask. If you are not confident in doing procedure, practice and ask your senior colleagues to teach you. If you know that you take a long time to review patients, come earlier to make up for the time you need.
  
  During my medical posting, MOs come to do round at 8 a.m., so all patients needed to be reviewed and take investigations before they come, so being in-charged in one cubicle, I came around 5 – 5.30 a.m. just to make sure things are done before MOs and specialists came.
  
  If you see cases that you don’t know about, read up. Learning doesn’t stop when you graduate. You will feel that the more cases you see, the ‘dumber’ you feel. Learn from your mistakes. Learn how to de-stress and cope with stress. Work smart.
  
  I generally take 6 months to adapt so only during the later part of my second posting was I able to actually enjoy working as a doctor.
• To be scolded is NORMAL during housemanship: We don’t scold you for no reason. Learn from mistakes. IF you still don’t know what you did wrong, ASK. We expect you to learn fast; we don’t care from which university you came from or if you’re a Dean’s List or Mumtaz students but we DO CARE for you to be functional. If we order investigations in the morning, of course we expect to see the results by afternoon round. If we ask to refer STAT or take blood and send STAT of course we expect it to be done urgently. If a patients need close monitoring and be informed if deteriorates, of course we expect to be called if patients collapsed. If we ask you about the disease and you don’t know, read up and if we ask you to read up, do read up and be expected to be asked again in the future AND be able to answer.
  
  Kena marah tu benda biasa masa houseman- ambil ape yang baik, and belajar dari situ; benda tak baik tu masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri- this is what I usually tell my junior colleagues.
  
  This is where your support system comes- have friends or colleagues, who share the same interest or are in the same boat to rant and ‘luahkan perasaan’, go to gym, go see movies, go eat, read Quran, seek comfort from families- pendek cerita, know how to de-stress and learn how to cope with stress.
  
  Reciting Quran and solat sunat was a way to calm myself down during tagging. Later, I found friends to hang with and we actually formed ‘Geng Makan2’ who’d eat out together after work and went bowling and watched movies.
• Give a good first impression: Contrary to the saying ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’, first impression DO COUNT. People talk and people observe. Words about how good or how bad you are as a house officer might travel around especially in a small hospital, so yes, do give good impression and have the right attitude towards everyone.

In conclusion, at the end of the day, you are expected to be functional, responsible, reliable and safe houseman. Medical profession is tough and tiring and stressful. You may not be able to eat properly, sleep properly and yet are expected to function normally. So at the end of the day, correct your intention and remind yourself why you choose to be a doctor and what can motivate you to stay in the field?

IMAM/PPIM ( IMAM Malaysia ) organizes Houseman Preparatory Course at regular interval and they have fb group. Prepare yourself mentally. If you are reading this as a student overseas, when you’re doing attachment at local hospital during your clinical year time, observe how patients are, try to clerk cases, attach yourself with the HO and explore the job the scope, follow rounds and see how they present, ask if you can observe or do some simple procedure. Have a feel of how working in Malaysia is.

It also helps to have goals too. While you’re doing your housemanship, explore your interest: medical-based or surgical-based? Or are you interested in admin job, or lab jobs or teaching jobs? Find out various ways to do specialty programmes. IMAM also has Post-Graduate Preparatory Course every year. Learn as much during housemanship, because once you enter MO-ship, you will be accountable for every decision and management you make.

And while it is scary to embark into medical world, it is fun! To be honest, there’s no other job that gives this kind of satisfaction when patients you treat improve greatly and when they say thank you. It also reminds you how small you are and how humble you are and how great His plan is.

Wallahualam bissawab.