Just been thinking...

It's getting colder now. I think this year is even colder than last year. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE winter... Of course, winter in Perth is a perfect winter weather for me. I don't think I can stand it if it's colder than this. But I think we still have lack of raining. I'm still waiting for heavy rains and thunderstorms; despite the hailstorm reported in a few places (and I missed those... darn)

We need more rain. Australia needs more rain! It's funny to think how a country that's considered as a developed country, loose in fight against nature. Just as how the US cannot fight against countless of tornados and snow-storms at different times. How weak these 'powerful' countries are against nature's force... Against the Lord's power that is...
And yet, they can still snobbingly branded themselves as the Leaders of the world...

But that's not the point of this story... yet. What I'd like to point is WA (or Australia for that matter) still needs more rain. Back in Currie Hall, for the past two years, one of the favourite topics between me and Nura during our Breakfast Delight time (especially when the season changes) was the weather. And we noted how the weather's a bit unpredictable everywhere over the past few years...

Same goes here... It's supposed to be rainy season in winter here- yet we still haven't had enough rain to fill up the dried reservoirs. I know one of the favourite places during this season is under the warm-nearly hot showers. Heck, I love to spend longer time under warm water as well, just for the sake of to keep myself warm (another reason was because I can't stand heater- makes me have headache and feel a bit sick even though we have the wonderful reverse-cycle-aircond-heater here in Mounts Bay).

I was blessed with a chance to live with an Australian foster family when I first came here. And one of their favourite tv shows during dinner was Australian Current Affair of channel 9. And since then I know water is a BIG problem here.

So I'm calling ALL (M'sian) students who are currently residing in Australia (especially Perth) and I would like to tell you (yes, YOU) that PLEASE, PLEASE be CONSIDERATE when you're using the water! Other people need to use them as well and we don't have lots of them to be wasted.

Got my message now? DO NOT WASTE WATER- we don't have that much!
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I've been thinking a lot about life and the future lately, that it scared me so much. I blame it partly on the exam where it had my head actively ticks. Then there was a talk with an old friend over the net the other day too...

Oh, how we've all change over the years. About 7 years ago, I chilled out with different people… and the changes occur almost every year since then when I moved to Kerteh, then 2 years after that I came to Perth. Even after that, the crowd keeps changing.
During my first year I hang around with new crowd, then in second year it was more towards college-based freinds. This year? The circle moves again and at times I'm almost afraid I'll never reach a stagnant phase.
Suddenly my thought moved to the future. While it's well known that Zura’s finishing this year, next year will be the final year for the rest of the engineering students from my batch. And also Shu. After that?
I’ll be alone… from my batch that is. And the thought almost left me helpless.

Oh, don't get me wrong; I love and enjoy the new crowd, namely the MARA med students in Currie. And of course, there’s Afaf and Zainab. But it still will never be the same... I'll loose the friends whom I could freely confide my problems and excitements in... Guess I just have to learn to find new ones, huh?

During early January 2004, I just couldn’t imagine having different friends to hang out with when the new semester started. Well, a year has gone by and I completely understand it now. It's like, when you loose the older crowd, you’re replaced with a new one.
After next year, it'll be almost the same situation. Heck, I won't even know what will happen next year. Or next semester even. I remember Zainab asking me about my future after I graduate. I said I'll be going back home. A shock on her face- 'but, what about us? Your friends here…?'
At that moment I could only shrugged. Home is still home, and I have no intention of residing here in Perth, no matter how much people said it's a better environment compared to home.
But now I almost ask myself on the same situation: You guys are just going to leave me?

Oh, grow up, Wani!

When I first learned about moving and changing of friends, I got quite upset. It took me 6 months to settle in Kerteh. I was never good with changes. And I remember always asking my mom, how can someone cope with changing of friends and adapting to new environment?
And guess what? I learnt to adapt to different friends and different environment. And at the moment, the situation is every year.
I changed from someone who used to be a person who MUST have friends around her to someone who doesn’t mind staying alone for quite some time.
I changed from someone who used to be ridden by her over-emotional side, to someone who'll said, 'ok hold on, now look at things from different perspective before judging something'.
And I wonder how much changes can occur?

Then the thoughts travelled to my relationships with my little rascals at home… Well, not so rascal anymore since everyone has gotten older… and wiser I hope.
3 brothers; each with different attitudes and characters. I realized I can bond well with the youngest. I know I still need more time and effort to penetrate the second one. And I realized with horror and sinking feelings that it’s harder to reach for the first one lately.
I remembered queuing up with him in TGV, KLCC last 2 years (I think) for Lord of the Ring 3 ticket and had casual chatting with him about his life, his studies, his goals and everything. I can’t seem to conjure up that moment again. He’s walking away from me; and his friends seem to be more influential rather than his family.

I may sound like a control-freak sister now. But the fact is I love my brothers. I love when I can bond well with them; like how I enjoy connecting with my only sister now, more so than ever. I love to have casual chat with them (my brothers) and I love to keep on reminding their responsibilities on the family…
I think I can do that easily with the youngest one. I’m still trying to find way to break through the icy barrier of the second one (mirror of Sasuke, I nick-named him once with mom).
But I’m struggling to just even keep the bond steady with the first one now.

If I feel this burden as the eldest now, I wonder how much burden do my parents feel in keeping us 5 to grow up wonderfully? Must be heavy- the responsibility of parents, huh?

I asked Zura the other day: How do you communicate with a younger brother who seems to feel more connected with his friends rather than his family?

Do YOU have any ideas? If you do, I'd appriciate it very much if can share it with me! *grins*