First

It wasn't that cold yesterday morning, I noted when I was going out to the hospital. Looking up, the sky was painted with dark grey- a tell tale sign that heavy rain maybe was coming.

We were doing ward round, were in one of the patients' room when a sudden shrill ring of a bell alerted the whole ward. Being new in hospital setting (and having no experience of that kind of scenario before), I was a bit confused when one of the doctors in my team and the nurses broke into a run out of the room.

It only took me a second to realize that somewhere in the ward, there was a code blue- someone might have cardiac arrest at that moment.

"The first rule that you have to know with code blue- run" My surgeon said as we hurried to the spot.

I was wondering who could the patient be when someone mentioned a name and I realized that it was our patient! When we reached there, I met with a scene that I've never seen before. Everybody was hurriedly preparing all the equipments to resuscitate the patient, the doctors alternately doing CPR and my surgeon yelling out instructions.
It was intense.

Being only a fourth year medical student, my collegues and I felt helpless. We wanted to help, yet we didn't want to get in the way, in fear that we'll slow the resuscitation process. At least I felt a bit useful when someone yelled asking the patient's file and instantly I broke into a run to get it from the staff at the front desk; and my friends ran to retrieve stuff they needed from the preparation room.

They called it off after some time.

It was still early in the morning to have everything worked up... And I realized the importance of CPR skills and having it at the tip of your fingers- so that when you face with the same sort of situation, you'll instantly know what to do and not taking time to remember 'what should I do nex?'

As I was thinking about this, I realized yet again, this is a reminder from Him that life is short. It could be our patient this time around, maybe next is me? Or maybe next is you?

If CPR is important to be embedded in our mind, so that we will be prepared next time, we must also realized that we have to be prepared if we're at the receiving end. Meaning, if it is us who's facing death. Have we done enough to save us from the hell fire, or do we always brush it off with "It's ok, I'm still young. When the time comes, I'll do goods to prepare myself"?

My friend, Death doesn't care if you're 3 weeks old, 19 years of age, or 21 or if you're in your 50s or 80s. When it's time for you to go, as per written in Luh Mahfuz, you can't even delayed it by second. Everybody wants to die in a good situation, but does ourselves, our deed, our character and attitude matched our wish?

Think about it...

At around 3 p.m., I noticed that there's a messaged in my phone. It was from my mom- Tok yong (my grand aunt) meninggal tengah hari tadi. Sedekahkan fateha untuknya.

Innalillahiwainna ilaihiraaji'un.....