Tuesday Post

Flight ticket confirmed now. The only thing left is Visitor Visa application, which will be settled the latest by next week, insyaAllah. Af first I couldn't believe it myself that I'll be spending two weeks in July back home; always saying to other people that to go home for just 3 weeks in Winter Break is just not worth it (compared to 3 months Summer break at the end of year).

But when you could place your feet on the earth of Japan before heading home, why not, yeah?

Still, deep in the heart, I know I want to fly to Melbourne so much over the Winter Break, knowing people from UK & Eire will be there during that time. But between two choices, you just have to choosed either one.

The past 2 sessions of Psychology of Healing proved to be very interesting. We learned how to do basic Reflexology (very soothing!) and a Professor from Curtin who is an acupuncturist himself talked to us about the art of Acupuncture and showed a couple of demonstrations on two brave tute mates... I would have volunteered if circumstances permitted myself!

Dini came last night to take some anatomy charts. It was wonderful to catch up with her whom I haven't seen for quite some time. Suddenly I missed Maria, and I realized that some Singaporean friends of mine have gone back...

Second last GP visit this morning required me to take 2 more blood pressure... which were close enough, but not what the GP himself heard... that shows I need more practice! And I got the chance to hear 'wheeze' sound during respiratory examination on an athmatic patient. Also got to test my knowledge of shoulder girdle again when a lady with arthritis on her shoulder came in.

One more visit before I take the break for exam and holiday, then off to do some more next July when the semester starts.

Berapa tahun lagi yang tinggal?

Berborak dengan satu-satunya adik perempuan dalam keluarga... Tiba-tiba terasa rindu la pula... Makin dewasa, diri ini sedar bahawa talian kakak-adik berubah dari kurang rapat kepada semakin memahami. Kami boleh berborak tentang pelbagai perihal dunia dan akhirat kini, walaupun lebih kurang 4 tahun dahulu kami tidak terasa sebegini rapat... Alhamdulillah...

'Dah wish mama happy birthday?' Salah satu soalan pertama yang ditanya... 'Belum... nak telefon malam kang'. Diri ini menyampaikan amanat untuk menyampaikan salam hari lahir buat mama melaluinya. Siap main kira-kira lagi tak lama kemudian, menyedari si adik lebih arif tentang ilmu mantik kini *haha... otak maths berkarat dah!* 'haaa... cakap ngan mama tinggal 16 thn je lagi...'

'!!' Diri ini digelar jahat... Soalnya mati bukanlah satu topik kegemaran semua orang... Tapi mati adalah satu pelantar yang akan kita semua hadapi. Rasa-rasanya pernah dicatat di ruang ini dahulu *mungkin last year* tentang cara efektif mengukur umur... Daripada berbangga-bangga dengan umur kita yang meningkat dewasa (sekali gus terperasan dengan kedewasaan dan kematangan fikiran kita), mengapa tidak kita ambil umur ketika Nabi S.A.W wafat, dan tolakkan angka itu dengan umur baru kita...

Nah, berapa tahun lagi yang tinggal untuk anda sebelum Malaikatul Maut menyapa?

A/N: Ini cuma anggaran... bukan ramalan, ye?

Fungsi mengira umur cara begini adalah sebagai ingatan buat kita, hamba Allah. Ketahuilah, setiap masa dan saat yang berlalu itu menunjukkan bahawa kita semakin hampir ke penghujungnya. Siapa lagi yang mesti mengingatkan kita bahwa kita semakin hampir kepada mati kalau bukan diri sendiri? Selalu leka dengan hiburan dunia, ilmu Islam tidak kita selami.

Perbualan dengan Zainab tempoh hari berakhir dengan topik Hari Kiamat atau Yaumul Qiyamah... dikenali juga sebagai As-Saah, menurut sahabatku itu, kerana betapa cepatnya proses Kiamat itu sendiri. Ditunjukkan jari telunjuk yg dirapatkan ke jari tengah, sambil jari-jari lain di dalam genggamannya (seolah-olah membuat tanda 'peace' yg dirapatkan kedua-dua jari itu); 'You see this?' Katanya sambil menunjukkan kepada jari tengahnya. 'This is the time that Allah has given us on this world. And this,' Dia memegang jari telunjuknya pula, '.. the length of this finger is the time that has passed.'

Mataku terpaku kepada perbezaan kepanjangan antara jari tengah dan telunjuknya... 'And this gap, is the time that is left for us before Yaumul Qiyamah'

!!

Ah!! Mati itu semakin hampir! Akhir Zaman juga semakin hampir! Tidak lama lagi segala amalan ini akan ditimbang... Cukupkah bekalanku? Adakah aku telah melaksanakan semua tanggungjawabku sebagai hambaNya? Telahkah aku mengingatkan orang-orang di sekeliling ini akan tanggungjawab mereka?

Mampukan aku menjawab segala amanah-amanah yang tidak pernah ditunaikan??

Wallahualam...

Post scriptum: Happy B'day, Mama! Tunggukan kedatangan video- Special: The Family of Zenol Ariffin :p

Friday Post

It's rare to see a traffic jam in Perth. Not that you won't see it; it's just that it's hard to see one on Mounts Bay Road (the road I take to go to and back from UWA).

But once you're in it (with not much complaints because the bus's very conveniant) you got a little bit irritated, showing that you've forgotten how bad the traffic jam back home compared to here.

At the same time, my mind whispered, 'Alhamdulillah I don't have a car yet... to be stuck in this jam at this hour... must be frustrating'. Luckily it was on the way back from uni, not going into uni- as I stupidly did before... :p

Sitting frustratedly in front of the Acer, I pondered how come the other people had easier access to set their interview for their fieldwork of Community Health Project, while I've been trying for 2 weeks, and yet, going no where... Any ideas?

[editted: 6 a.m. May 14th]
My prayers have been answered when the lady I called in this morning (who was not in) called me back at 6.30 p.m. Never seen that one coming, bacause it was already out of office hour (and the fact that it's Friday)... But Allah's help come when you least expected it. I'm thankful that amid the stress, I've never loose faith in Him...

'Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan (saja) mengatakan: "Kami telah beriman", sedangkan mereka tidak diuji lagi?' [Al'Ankabut (29): 2]

'Hai orang-orang yang beriman, mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan sabar dan solat, sesungguhnya Allah berserta orang-orang yang sabar' [Al Baqarah (2): 153]

In the stress to finish up the project, I forgot that it was my friends' birthday until we had a weekly meeting at my place, and one said- yes, today is Friday the 13th. Suddenly something snapped- crap! It's Fahd and Yan's birthday!

And so: HAPPY BELATED 21st BIRTHDAY YAN & FAHD!! May Allah bless you and keep you both in His guidance, always, insyaAllah!

Oh, that reminds me- my mom's birthday tomorrow! *grinning widely*

Stress?

I'm stressed...
And when I'm stressed over a big thing (like Community Health Project's fieldwork & Psychology of Healing Essay- which is worth 60%), little things that irked me would make me feel that they are so big that it almost made me cry...

Plus, I'm so tired lately... couldn't get enough sleep (or good sleep when I have enough) bacause of the two assignments... Plus, catching up with the lectures and studies, that doesn't help much for my sleeping state as well...

At this moment, I just want to run away and wish for everyone to leave me alone...

With constant panic attack like this, I wonder if I could function well for the rest of the month.

The only times when I feel at ease and peace is when I pray...

Nurkilan insan bergelar sahabat

Ketika kau dalam kesedihan
Dan tika kau dalam kesusahan
Ingatlah, Allah itu sentiasa di sisimu...

PertolonganNya itu pelbagai cara
Aku ini cuma insan biasa
Ingatlah, Allah senantiasa menyayangimu...

Saat kau hampir berputus asa
Dan jiwamu terasa amat terseksa
Ingatlah... tiada kesedihan dalam Islam...

Ingatlah wahai sahabat
Ingatlah ayat-ayat penawar Quran
Ingatlah yang kau tidak keseorangan

'Hai jiwa yang tenang,
Kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu dengan hati yang puas
lagi diredhaiNya...
Maka masuklah kedalam jemaah hamba-hambaKu
Dan masuklah ke dalam syurgaKu' (AlFajr 27-30)

Tabahkanlah hatimu, wahai sahabat
Mengadulah kepada Yang Esa jika kau bingung
Kerana doa itu kekuatan kita, golongan mukminin

Ingatlah... "La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha.." (AlBaqarah, 286)

Nurkilan insan bergelar sahabat: 06052005, 2106

Humming...

In love with this nasyid at the moment: Belaian Ibu by Hijjaz
Dedicated specially to my mom (and dad as well, of course!!) :)

tertanam naluri keibuan, amat mendalam
jiwa insan yang mendambarkan kebahagian
ooo ibu, di bahumu tergalas beban perjalanmu penuh rintangan
kau titipkan kasih sayang, sejujur pengorbanan, tak ku nafikan

di saat kita berjauhan, rasa ingin kuberlari mendakapimu penuh girang
masih kecil kehilangan
kau insan penyayang
betapa kumerindu, lembutnya belaianmu ibu
membuat kuterlena

kupastikan dikau aman
kurnia sejahtera tak kulupakan

di wajahmu berolak tenang
debak di dada kaurahsiakan
kupastikan dikau aman, di dunia sejahtera, tak kulupakan

di saat kita berjauhan, rasa ingin kuberlari mendakapimu penuh girang
masih kecil kehilangan, tiada aku tanpa ibu
hanya kau satu didunia, bertakhta dikau dijiwaku
kaulah ibu yang tercinta, kau insan pengasih
betapa ku mengharap hadirnya restumu ibu, membawa ku ke syurga

bersemi belaian kasih sayang, yang berpanjangan
darimu insan yang mendoakan kebahagiaan anak-anakmu
ooo ibu...

Did the first GP visit (for this year) this afternoon. At first I was a bit reluctant to go because this year I got a different GP. I've been following the same GP I had for the past two years that I was anxious of the changes... But then I was thinking, if I can't face changes, how am I going to survive the future?

It's time to move out from the comfort zone.

And it's proven to be worth it ;)

Oh yeah... and winter has officially come! Goodby Mr. Sun, welcome rainy days! *need to remember to bring umbrella to uni everyday...*

Sunday Post

The First year Meds are going for Rural Week today. Spending one week in rural area of WA (and doing some assignments allocated for) is one, I would say, the advantage of being Med students. Geology students are not the only ones who got to have trips around WA ;)

So last night, I and some others went to and slept in Currie Hall. And alas, an interesting topic was being brought up. Everyone seemed to be eager to speak up... and all of us came to the same conclusion- There's no other better solution than to take Islam as a whole into our lives.

"Hai orang yang beriman, masuklah kamu ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhannya, dan janganlah kamu menurut langkah-langkah syaitan. Sesungguhnya syaitan itu musuh yang nyata bagimu" Al-Baqarah, ayat 208 (2:208)

Coming back from Currie, we dropped by Kings Park. And coming back from a Kings Park, panically all of us got out of the car to look at a parrot which we thought just being hit by the (our) car. The little falla didn't fly away nor it struggled to get free when Shu picked it up and put it away from the road. It didn't take the water and cookies that we offered as though it was mad at us for running into it. Hasni made a few calls to find out where the Vet is and so did Ima. Zura and Shu (mostly Zura) kept on teasing and poking with the bird which seemed to start twitching and moving away to the evokes it got. I stared blankly at the parrot with a thinking 'shouldn't we just leave it here?'

After about 15 minutes (I think), it suddenly flied away (after hopping slowly away from Zura)onto the other tree opposite the road. Gasping, Zura said that we've just been tricked by the bird. Shu and I laughed. In the car on the way back, everyone came up with different hypothesis and theories on why the bird didn't fly away (or move even) when it saw our car coming, and why it took it so long before it could fly to get away from us- to the point where everyone (except Ima who refused to) even got a chance to pat the bird.

And I said.... maybe it was in trauma after being hit? You know, like still dizzy and in confused after being ran into... until some moments later it got out of the 'trance', it quickly went away to a safer place.

And everyone sort of agreed.. :p

Allahualam...

Between the two choices

Direct quote from Australian's National Cancer Prevention Policy 2004-2006:

"The NHMRC emphasises that, 'Unlike cardiovascular disease, there is no evidence that alcohol has any protective effect against cancer, at any level'(p. 74).

Also, in relation to heart disease, 'The benefits of alcohol in preventing heart disease can be achieved with as little as half a standard drink per day … Similar benefits can also be gained from strategies such as regular exercise, giving up smoking and a healthy diet' (pp. 68 & 69)."

So, excuses that alcohol is good for your health doesn't really apply anymore when there's another and a better way to get the same result of health... right?

"Mereka bertanya kepadamu tentang khamar (segala minuman yang memabukkan) dan judi. Katakanlah: "Pada keduanya itu terdapat dosa besar dan beberapa manfaat bagi manusia, tetapi dosa keduanya lebih besar dari manfaatnya..." Al-Baqarah (2) ayat 219

Cuma kepadaMu tempat aku mengadu...

"Ya Allah, tabahkanlah hati hambaMu ini... Jika ini ujian, aku redha; Jika ini kifarah dosaku, ampunkanlah daku ya Allah..."

Guilt

Chatting with my beloved cousin last night, we came to a conclusion. For a while, I thought I was very, very selfish. And with a sad heart, my mind was working what excuses to give. This would crush her. Unable to sleep, I read lecture notes and overwhealmed myself with the new names under the class of fungi.

Even that didn't take my mind of what I have to break to her the next morning. I hate to break bad news.

At last at 4.40 a.m., I fell onto the bed and was able to sleep soundly. But even in my sleep, I was having a bad dream about breaking the news. Worse, because of trying to find excuses for the news to her, I completely forgot about the trip to Fremantle Prison... Waking up with a start, I looked at my handphone- 7.06 a.m.

When she came into the library, to where I purposely sit so that she could see me easily, I whispered; 'I need to tell you something' And she nodded, sitting next to me.

Damn... I hate breaking bad news.

When I finished, she nodded and said she understood. For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of hurt or maybe dissapointment on her face. I was glad that she took the news calmly; in fact I was surprised for I didn't even blurt out every excuses and reasons of the news, and yet she understood.

And there's nothing else I feel except...

GUILT

I just hope everything doesn't change after this...